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Busyness

I hate busyness.?Ǭ† There was once a time where I found importance in how busy my schedule or how many meetings I had in one week.?Ǭ† That time is long gone.?Ǭ† I have been so busy lately.?Ǭ† So busy that I feel like my body is moving ahead of my heart.?Ǭ† I have no time to rest, no time to enjoy the silence, no time to smell the roses, no time to recognize God, no time to laugh without abandon, not time to play Halo2, no time to go sailing, no time at a cafe in my city and watch and learn, no time to rekindle the romance of my marriage, not time to deeply look into my kids eyes and with a glance explain my heart to them, no time to wonder, no time to create, no time to explore my new/old home. I have missed these things.

There is time for agenda, and calendar, and expectation, and meetings, and planning.?Ǭ† Stuff I love, but in moderation.?Ǭ† And right now I feel incapabe of moderating.?Ǭ† Thus they dominate.?Ǭ† They pillage the wonder, the adventure, the awe.?Ǭ† And I become a shell of myself with eyes like a deer in headlights.

I don’t like it, i don’t like it one bit.

Why is busyness like a drug.?Ǭ† Why am I addicted to being busy?

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