I haven't been up for blogging lately. It's hard to struggle to do something you once found such joy and even healing in. Blogging used to be a tool in which I could find myself in. More recently it has become a tool for others to find myself in – a direction that has sapped my true voice and stolen my creativity. I am sorry for this.
I feel as though I have been underground lately, jealously guarding time and energy for myself and my family that typically is spent on others and community. It has been a time of rest and a time of rediscovery. The voice of God in my ear had become silenced by the much louder voice of others. I have been relearning to hear God's voice and rediscover a sense of calling – that which I cannot do, which I cannot walk away from. These (re)discoveries is what will occupy this space in coming days.
Not for anyone else, but for me. Because I need to hear myself think and to see the crazy thoughts running through my mind on a screen.